heartsunite:

Anyone want to visit Army Disposals with me lol not even kidding got prey’d on tonight and want a switchblade and or combat knife to carry a la ‘Legs.’

@Bianca, apocalypse has not yet begun. Army Disposals sells shoes and/or hats, but until said apocalypse, it is illegal to purchase weapons without a license (including, but not limited to switch blades/combat knives). Also don’t get any ideas about strapping a kitchen knife to your leg either because I asked Dad about it once and he says apart from tripping and stabbing myself, if the police ever found it I’d be arrested. 

You should instead put your keys between your fingers. Or get a big dog, like a boxer (I LOVE THEM), but alas, not a magic color-changing pitbull like VMars, as they are also illegal (normal ones as well, not just magic pitbulls).